Meghan Markle has been open about the fact that she had suicidal thoughts while pregnant with her first child, Archie, now 3, following the onslaught of media criticism. In the fourth episode of the Harry & Meghan docuseries, Prince Harry reveals how he reacted to finding out this heartbreaking information about his wife.
“I was devastated. I knew that she was struggling. We were both struggling. But I never thought that it would get to that stage,” Prince Harry says. “And the fact that it got to that stage, I felt angry and ashamed. I didn’t deal with it particularly well. I dealt with it as institutional Harry, as opposed to husband Harry. And what took over my feelings was my royal role. I had been trained to worry more about what are people gonna think if we don’t go to this event. We’re gonna be late. And looking back on it now, I hate myself for it. What she needed from me was so much more than I was able to give.”
Meghan’s mom, Doria Ragland, recalls the moment she found out how much her daughter was struggling. “I remember her telling me that. That she wanted to take her own life,” Doria says. “And that really broke my heart because I knew… Well, I knew that it was bad. But to just constantly be picked at by these vultures, just picking away at her spirit. That she would actually think of not wanting to be here. That’s not an easy one for a mom to hear.”
In the docuseries, Doria begins to cry. “And I can’t protect her. H can’t protect her,” she adds. Meghan says that she “wanted to go somewhere to get help, but I wasn’t allowed to. They were concerned about how that would look for the institution.”
Prince Harry admits that the royal family “knew how bad it was” for Meghan. He continues, “They thought, ‘Why couldn’t she just deal with it?’ As if to say, ‘Well, you know, everybody else has dealt with it, why can’t she deal with it?’ But this was different. It was really different. But actually, if you strip all that away and say, ‘Okay, fine, it was exactly the same. So do we still believe that she should have just sucked it up like other members of the family? Or does one think that maybe it’s about time that we stopped?’”
The Duke of Sussex goes on to claim that no one within the Firm would have conversations with the editors of the media to stand down with Meghan. Prince Harry remembers, “My dad said to me, ‘Darling boy, you can’t take on the media. The media will always be the media.’ I said, ‘I fundamentally disagree.’” Meghan revealed her past struggle to the world during her March 2021 interview with Oprah Winfrey.
Prince Harry and Meghan eventually took drastic measures to protect themselves and their family. After welcoming their son in May 2019, the couple announced in January 2020 that they would be stepping down as senior royals. After prolonged tension with the royal family, the couple left the U.K. in March 2020. They currently reside in California and have welcomed a daughter Lilibet Diana, who is now 1. All episodes of Harry & Meghan are now available on Netflix.
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