Biggest Revelations From Episode 4

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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s Netflix Show ‘Harry & Meghan’: Biggest Revelations From Episode 4

Continuing to tell their story. After detailing the early days of their romance and Meghan Markle’s introduction to Prince Harry’s family, Harry & Meghan wasted no time getting into the drama when episode four dropped on Thursday, December 15.

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“There was this moment where our private secretary, she worked for the queen for, I think, 20 years, and what she said to me was, ‘[The palace is] like this fish that is swimming perfectly, powerful, it’s on the right current and one day this little organism comes in. This foreign organism and the entire thing goes [squeal] what is that? What is it doing here, it doesn’t look like us, it doesn’t move like us, we don’t like it, get it off of us,’” the Duchess of Sussex claimed. “And she just explained that, you know, that they’ll soon see that it’s stronger, faster, better with this organism as part of it. It will be hard at the beginning for them to adjust to this new thing but then it will be amazing. And I was really hopeful that that was true.”

Harry, 38, and Meghan, 41, wed in May 2018 and went on to welcome son Archie (born in May 2019) and daughter Lilibet (born in June 2021). The second half of the six-part docuseries included new photos from their nuptials and details from their evening reception.

“I just really wanted the music to be fun,” the Suits alum said, admitting that she “always” gets the name of their first dance song, “Land of 1,000 Dances” by Wilson Pickett, wrong. “That was our first dance. It was so fun. Just spinning like a whirlwind. It was so great.”

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Volume two of the show also documented Harry and Meghan’s decision to step back from their roles as senior members working for Queen Elizabeth II. The pair announced their plans in January 2020 and completed their last official royal engagement that March, later relocating to the U.S.

“I wonder what would have happened to us had we not got out when we did,” Harry said in one clip, alleging that the couple experienced “institutional gaslighting” during their time working for The Firm. “They were happy to lie to protect my brother. They were never willing to tell the truth to protect us.”

Members of Harry’s family — including King Charles III and Prince William — have yet to publicly comment on the Netflix series, which dropped its first three episodes on December 8.

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“I don’t think there was very much in there that was particularly new or that will have worried them too much. It was repetition of the same old gripes, repetition of the same sort of stuff [they’ve previously claimed],” royal expert Jonathan Sacerdoti told Us Weekly exclusively after the initial drop. “So, I think they may be breathing a sigh of relief on that front, but, you know, there are three more of these [episodes] to come.”

There has been an ongoing back and forth between the palace and the streaming service, however, as the show includes a disclaimer that states “members of the Royal Family declined to comment on the content within this series.” After a source alleged to Us that the family was not “approached for comment regarding the content of the series,” royal reporter Omid Scobie tweeted that household offices for William, 40, Princess Kate, Charles, 74, and Queen Consort Camilla “were contacted and given sufficient time to respond.”

Us Weekly is breaking down every episode of Harry & Meghan. Click here for the biggest takeaways from episode one, episode two and episode three. Scroll through for the biggest revelations from episode four:

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Meghan Was in Disbelief at Wedding Attention

“On the day of our wedding, it’s, like, I went into a really calm space. I don’t know how I was so calm. I look back and, ‘How was I so calm?’ And all I wanted was a mimosa, a croissant and to play the song, ‘Going to the Chapel.’ And that’s what I did. And it was great,” she recalled of the May 2018 nuptials. “So I knew that when I got to the actual castle. … How funny is that to say? ‘When I got to the castle for my wedding.’ That there’d be tons of people. What I didn’t know was people would be lining both sides of the street. I mean, this was a 15-minute drive. Me and my mom were like, ‘What is going on? Look at all these people’” Everyone’s got their phones out. There we go. Wow! Look at that.’”

Harry added that “there was an expectation” for the public wedding because he was “Diana’s boy.” 

“It was like, ‘Mission complete with William. Now, let’s see if this goes the distance with Harry and then we can actually go, ‘Job done,’” he said.

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Charles Helped Meghan and Harry With Music for the Wedding

Charles “helped us choose an orchestra, which made all the difference,” Harry recalled, adding that there was “not a lot of pushback” when the couple asked for a gospel choir at their service. “More help from my dad on that one.”

He also walked Meghan down the aisle after the fallout of her dad staging photos with the paparazzi.

“Harry’s dad is very charming. I said to him, like, ‘I’ve lost my dad in this.’ So, him as my father-in-law was really important to me. So I asked him to walk me down the aisle and he said yes,” she remembered. “The whole thing was surreal. It was at that moment, I could also see H. … H and I are really, really good at finding each other in the chaos. When we find each other, we reconnect to, like, ‘Oh it’s you. It’s you.’ It’s not that the rest of it doesn’t matter, but … the rest of it feels temporary.”

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The Differences of Living in Nottingham Cottage vs Frogmore Cottage

“Kensington Palace sounds very regal. Of course it does. It says ‘palace’ in the name, but Nottingham Cottage was so small,” Meghan said as Harry noted that the “whole thing’s on a slight lean” and built for shorter people. “He would hit his head constantly in that place ’cause he’s so tall. Me with a hoe, and H varnishing. It was just a chapter in our lives where I don’t think anyone could believe what it was actually like behind the scenes.”

The pair were relieved when the queen offered them the bigger property of Frogmore Cottage. “It was a place where we had so many memories,” Meghan said. “From our courtship, our engagement, our wedding, our walks. And then where we ended up, you know, having our baby.”

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Meghan Details the Queen

“I treated her as my husband’s grandma. And knowing that, of course, there has to be a completely different sense of propriety and whatnot in public. When you’re sitting and having breakfast, to just be able to talk,” Meghan said before going  into specifics of her solo engagement with the monarch in June 2018. “I mean, when we got into the car in-between engagements, she had a blanket and she put it over my knees and we’re sitting in the car with this blanket and I thought, ‘I recognize and respect and see that you are the queen, but in this moment, I’m so grateful that there’s a grandmother figure because that feels like family.’ And because I was so, so close with my grandmother and I took care of her in her final years. … It was such a good day. We laughed.”

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Announcing Meghan’s Pregnancy

Harry explained they “had to” announce Meghan’s pregnancy because she was “showing” during their Australian tour in fall 2018. 

“One of the things that we connected on really early is you always had wanted to be a dad,” she said. “And I’d always wanted to be a mom. We started journaling right when we found out we were pregnant. It was just, ‘Dear baby, we’re so excited to meet you one day.’ And take little snapshots and stick them in the journal. ‘Here’s an announcement that went out about you today.’”

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Fallout From Meghan Being More Popular in the Media

Harry and Meghan recalled how well things were going during and after their Australian tour in fall 2018. Things soon took a turn, however. 

“The issue is when someone who’s marrying in, who should be a supporting, a supporting act, is then stealing the limelight or is doing the job better than the person who is born to do this — that upsets people,” Harry claimed. “It shifts the balance. Because you’ve been led to believe that the only way that your charities can succeed and the only way that your reputation can be grown or improved is if you’re on the front page of those newspapers. But the media are the ones who choose who to put on the front page. First time that the penny dropped for her, M and I spent the night in a room in Buckingham Palace after an event where every single member of the family had been, including the queen.”

Harry claimed that things took a turn when Meghan made the front page after a Remembrance Day event in November 2018. When she saw the cover of the Telegraph, Harry recalled that Meghan said: “’But it’s not my fault.’ And I said, ‘I know. And my mum felt the same way.’”

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Comparisons of Meghan and Kate

“The bump. The avocados. It’s bizarre. And there were maybe, like, 25 examples. It’s literally the same thing,” Harry said, referring to how the U.K. media reported on Meghan vs. Kate “It’s the off-the-shoulder dress. … This is how it’s covered for her. This is how it’s covered for her. If you don’t see the difference and understand why it’s being reported that way … then, I can’t help you.”

The twosome then started to laugh. “At the time, I mean we laughed about it because it’s so ridiculous,” Meghan said.

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Meghan’s Depression

As the criticism in the press continued, Meghan recalled wanting to end her life.

“I was like, ‘All of this will stop if I’m not here.’ And that was the scariest thing about it. It was such clear thinking,” she said. 

Meghan’s mom, Doria Ragland, got emotional while speaking about the situation. 

“I remember her telling me that she had wanted to take her own life. And that really broke my heart. … I knew that it was bad. But to just constantly be picked at by these vultures, just picking away at her spirit, that she would actually think of not wanting to be here — that’s not an easy one for a mom to hear,” she said. “And I can’t protect her. H can’t protect her.”

The pair claimed that Meghan wanted to go to treatment but she wasn’t allowed.

“I was devastated. I knew that she was struggling. We were both struggling. But I never thought that it would get to that stage. And the fact that it got to that stage, I felt … angry and ashamed,” Harry recalled. “I didn’t deal with it particularly well. I dealt with it as institutional Harry, as opposed to husband Harry. And what took over my feelings was my royal role. I had been trained to worry more about, what are people gonna think if we don’t go to this event? We’re gonna be late. I hate myself for it. What she needed from me was so much more than I was able to give.”

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Harry and Charles’ Discussion About Media

Harry claimed that he tried to get his dad to talk to the press to back off Meghan.

“My dad said to me, ‘Darling boy, you can’t take on the media. The media will always be the media.’ I said, ‘I disagree.’ I have 30 years’ experience of looking behind the curtain and seeing how this system works and how it runs,” he said. “I mean, just constant briefings about other members of the family, about favors, inviting the press in. It’s a dirty game. You know, there’s leaking, but there’s also planting of stories.”

He went on to explain: “So if the comms team want to be able to remove a negative story about their principle, they will trade and give you something about someone else’s principle. So the offices end up working against each other. It’s a kind of this weird understanding or acceptance that happens. And you can always say, ‘I didn’t know about this,’ or, ‘This would never happen. Are you suggesting that I condone this?’ It’s like, ‘No. But what I am asking is have you done anything to stop it?’ And the answer is no. William and I both saw what happened in our dad’s office … and we made an agreement that we would never let that happen to our office.”

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Harry Claims William’s Office Turned on Him

Harry and Meghan split their office from William and Kate’s ahead of Christmas 2018.

“I would far rather get destroyed in the press than play along with this game or this business of trading,” Harry said. “And to see my brother’s office copy the very same thing that we promised the two of us would never ever do, that was heartbreaking.”

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Meghan’s NYC Baby Shower

“My girlfriends surprised me with a really beautiful baby shower in New York. They’re like, ‘We’re gonna shower her with love, and shower her baby, and she’s gonna survive this.’ “We’re gonna get through it with her,’” Meghan recalled before detailing the backlash that she faced from the U.K. media “It was so wrong. These independent, strong, successful women choose to use their own money, and it’s not taxpayer money, to throw a party for their friend from a place of love. Why are you taking such a beautiful moment and trying to ruin it?”

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Why Meghan Didn’t Take the Traditional Photo on the Hospital Steps With Archie

“There was already, like, the pressure of, like, the picture with Archie on the steps, and ‘Are they gonna do that, are they not?’ … But I had been really worried going into that labor because I’m older and I didn’t know if I’d have to have a C-section. And I had a very long-standing relationship with my doctor and that’s who I trusted with my pregnancy,” she explained. “And [the palace] said, ‘Right. But she’s at Portland Hospital and the steps are at this hospital.’ I said, ‘OK, we could do a photo call in front of Portland Hospital.’ And they said it’s impossible. ‘We couldn’t barricade these streets off, and it would create a threat for the emergency room entrance, because that’s where you would have to do this picture.’ We said, ‘OK, what’s the hybrid? Can we give them more time at the castle?’ And everything in turn was like, ‘Yes. Yes, great. Oh, yes.’ At no point did someone go, ‘Absolutely not.’”

While they thought the palace was on board with their plan to do Archie’s introduction differently, Harry said: “The amount of abuse that we got, especially [Meghan], but both of us, for not wanting to serve our child up on a silver platter, was incredible.”

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The Africa Documentary Was a ‘Turning Point’

Meghan went viral in October 2019 after she told a journalist in their documentary that “not many people have asked if I’m OK” as she navigated royal life after welcoming Archie.

“This was a royal documentary that the palace was green-lighting. I guess I just assumed this was just gonna be a glossy version of a happy tour. … I didn’t know what he was gonna ask me. I hadn’t touched up my makeup. … I was just fried,” Meghan said. “And I guess because I was so exhausted, I was just really grateful that someone seemed to ask me something like I was a human being. I just never thought they’d even use it in the documentary.”

“The fallout was bonkers,” Harry said. “Every single front page in the U.K. was like very different to what the general public’s reaction was. When you would expect support from the people closest, we got the opposite.”

Meghan, who recalled the hashtag “#WeLoveYouMeghan,” added: “There’s only so much you can take on your own. So you end up saying, “Something has to change.” It was a huge turning point. It’s when we started having harder conversations about what needs to happen for us to be able to continue to make this work.”